Starting To Crawl

Thursday, January 5th Krissa took her first crawling step! She wasn't even six months old (ten days to go at that time). I was both proud of her and yet also overwhelmed at the thought of her crawling (it's been five days and, as of yesterday, she can now do two steps).

I admit I am not ready for this stage, however it's going to happen sometime so I might as well get it over with now. I know that sounds terribly negative, but with Logan I was a first time mother completely unaware of what it MEANT when your baby starts crawling. I thought, oh how exciting, how fun!

Now I know that, as a stay at home mom, that will mean that my days will consist of following my baby around the house.

All. day. long.

Every day. For weeks. Months.

Stopping only to take whatever item she has grabbed to put in her mouth and constantly search the room for anything fatal.

This pretty much guarantees no time for myself -- no quick moments at the computer (because she's not going to sit still and play with toys anymore) or even for a load of laundry (she hardly sits in her bumbo or carseat these days, so once she can crawl she's not going to sit still on the floor for even a minute). No, once she realizes that she can go anywhere at anytime. . .she WILL (which means I will). And when I don't let her, she'll be crying. Needless to say, when I went to bed after she took that first step -- THOSE were the thoughts that went through my head and I almost cried. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be optimistic, but the only time of being a mother when I have felt trapped were the months when Logan was crawling. He started crawling at 7 months and started walking at 11 months. I'm not sure why, but walking didn't bother me (maybe because he was already used to moving and so he wasn't as "into" everything anymore; seems like he played again with just his toys and stopped going where he shouldn't). Month 14 was my only non-enjoyable month from aged 11 months until 3 years old! All other months were months I wanted to freeze in time just like the first three.

Unlike from age 3 yrs to three-and-a-half when Logan had the "terrible three's" which basically was so much stimulation for me that it caused stress, those crawling months were the opposite: dull and boring.

Don't get me wrong, it is a lot of fun to watch this age interact with me and witness all that they learn. I look back at the pictures and videos of Logan at 7, 8, 9, & 10 months and I remember it as a very special time with a lot of love between us during the days. But, I also remember that was my "Blockbuster time." I was becoming depressed by doing nothing other than following him around all day. So, I put up some baby gates in our family room and I began renting every television show I could think of on DVD, and they helped me get through those few months, LOL. (I now have Netflix.)

At first I was worried because even though Krissa was born three months after Logan, both of their crawling is falling during the winter (i.e. bad time of year to be stuck inside) -- however, this January in Iowa has been awesome!!! For the majority of the month it has been around 60 degrees. Of course it's supposed to change tomorrow, but the nice weather has definitely helped my previous funk. (Here's Krissa when we played outside last Friday.)In fact, that was another thing I was worried about. Even though I stopped breastfeeding Logan in January and am still breastfeeding Krissa, as you know I felt that hormone-wise I was going through the same thing already. However, I have been in a great mood the past week +. In my last post I wrote that it seemed like the case as soon as my period started for the first time on Dec 30th. So, hopefully with my hormones back to normal now, the weather decent, and what I learned last time on how to avoid/prevent losing my sanity during the crawling months -- I will continue to have good days with this adorable little sweetheart.Seriously, maybe she will surprise me, maybe it won't be as bad as I am making it seem. (The majority of my friends claim this monotony is how they feel during the 0 to 3 month stage when I have been in absolute blissful heaven with both babies, and it's THIS stage that is no problem/better for them.)

She stopped crying before naps and bedtime so at least that's good (what she had done all of last week, which is where I left off with my last post on January 5th). We did the "three days off" after doing "three days on" with cereal and at first there was no change, so we fed her again on the 8th and ironically she didn't cry at all that day and she also slept 12 hrs straight thru for the first time. We did the opposite the following night -- didn't give her any cereal on the 9th and she didn't cry that day, either, nor did she today on the 10th -- and both days slept 9:30 pm to 9:30 am without a single peep in the night. So, hopefully whatever caused her to be fussy is behind us. (We'll resume feeding her cereal every day, tomorrow.) Thank goodness, because it was upsetting to me. Joe didn't mind because there was nothing we could do. But I don't like to just walk away and leave my baby to cry. That happened less than one handful in all of Logan's life and I preferred it that way, compared to an entire week of 3 times each day.

I know people say "it's okay for babies to cry" but I keep reading studies that show that babies who are left to cry are more stressed out children and adults, have high anxiety, more self esteem issues, etc. Although, recently I wondered, maybe the babies who cry more are already the people who are going to be that way and that's why they cry. :p I just feel bad because Krissa has already cried more in her life simply because she was born second and so therefore sometimes comes second -- so I want to be able to help her stop when I can try to help. (When I have to put Logan second it's easy to explain to him "this is due to..." and so far it has never once bothered him.)

It makes me feel like I was a better mom to Logan and I don't want that to be the case. I want her to get all of the same benefits that he got by being the firstborn. But I know that's not realistic. . .and to some, that's not the definition of a better parent anyway. :p (Here they both are last week when I went into Krissa's room and found Logan in her crib with her!)The extra crying that she does compared to Logan started making me think she'd turned out to be harder (in the beginning I thought she was going to be the easier child, even though Logan would be considered pretty easy when looking at his life overall), but then I started remembering things about Logan -- and so I think that if there was a meter they would be exactly equal in the "difficulty department."

For example, I'm finding it a chore to cook these days because she cries while I do so. Half of the week I don't attempt it and the other half I'm like, "Chill, Krissa" and continue to cook while she cries. That was the case with Logan for a couple of years!

I also dread getting ready every morning now. As I mentioned in a previous post, she has decided to cry through my entire shower and make up & hair, despite bringing her in the bathroom with me since she was born. Once again, Logan was the same way as an infant. (That's why I was surprised that for her first four months she didn't bat an eye.)

And, when it was hard to go Christmas shopping this season because of Krissa -- I remember calling my mom during Logan's first Christmas, asking if she would watch him so that I could go shopping because he wasn't giving me a free minute. She wasn't able to because I think the weather was bad that month and so all that Joe got for Christmas was a trash can (I wish I was kidding. . .it was something he needed and then I'd planned to get him a bunch of fun stuff, too, but never made it out again).

At least I know that since Logan was this way (which I can hardly remember since the majority of his life he hasn't been like that), then someday this will be just a very quick memory as well.

With these sort of moments, I am glad that I feel I got enough of the crash that I was looking for last month. I now feel rejuvinated after Christmas. I mean, ideally I need a month vacation, but since that's not realistic I can be satisfied with the breaks that I got between Christmas and now -- so that I have the energy for these next few crawling months!Speaking of vacations, my mom and stepdad surprised us with an invite to Disney World this May!!!! My plan with Joe had always been to take Logan next January when he is 4 (3 months before turning 5) and leave Krissa in Iowa with the grandparents. But. . .that plan was made before I had her and knew her personality. So, when they suggested we all go together this May, I decided that sounded easier than leaving her here next year or taking her when she is a year-and-a-half old (since she may be going through the "terribles" at that point).

She'll be 9.5 months old which is the same age I was the first time I was on a plane. :-) Logan will have just turned 4. . .I am excited for his first plane ride. Hopefully he will be old enough to remember some things about the trip. I certainly remember being 4. Thankfully, it's only a 3-hr non-stop flight so Joe should be able to survive that, LOL.

That gives me something to look forward to since I haven't been to The Magic Kingdom since I was 13. (When I was 17 we took a vacation during my spring break to The Disney Institute which was the last time I was in Orlando, and my next trip to Florida was for Joe & my honeymoon when I was 23 -- but that was to the Clearwater area. The only other time I've been to Florida was when I was 6: my first time to Disney World. So I am ready to return!)

As for everything else since my last post, my mom watched Krissa for two-and-a-half hours on the afternoon of Thursday, January 5th while I took Logan to the mall with me for a one-on-one day. :-) We had lunch at Chick Fil A and then he was a super shopping partner (as he always has been) while I spent the rest of the time looking for an outfit. He played less than 10 min at their playground area, otherwise I pushed him around one of the mall's strollers. I had left ours at home since I wasn't bringing Krissa; I don't know why it didn't occur to me that my 3.5 year old son probably wasn't going to have the energy to walk around for over 2 hrs. :p So I had to pay 5 bucks, but at least he had fun sitting in it (it was a car that he drove) and now I know to bring my own in the future.

Unfortunately, I didn't find an outfit that day. We are getting family pictures taken the first weekend in February. The last real professional family photo we had was when Logan was 7 months old (our Christmas 2008 photo). Now Krissa will be 6.5 months. One of my old college friends is a professional natural light photographer here, and I have been admiring her work for the past couple of years so I am excited to go to her from now on whenever I want professional pictures. (Or at least hopefully they come out well.) I had planned to do a Valentine's Day theme where we all wear red and if it snows we could do outdoor pics in the snow. However, she cautioned that red is the worst color for natural light photography because it will bring out the red in all of our faces which is hard to photoshop out. Darn (red is my best color/easiest to buy and I already have an outfit for Krissa). So I had no idea what I was looking for when I was at the mall last week -- but afterward, I decided we'd all wear black.

I guess Krissa was good for half of the time that my mom watched her, but the other half of the time missed me. :/That evening my dad and stepmom stopped by for a couple of hours before they met some friends at Bravo's for dinner. Unfortunately, both of my kids were on their worst behavior! I could not believe it! Joe was still at work so I am amazed that I didn't lose it. Logan had his second time-out since we moved in our house two-and-a-half months ago because he spent the first half of their visit in the kitchen screaming and crying, and the second half of their visit interrupting us while we talked, and he hit my dad, threw pillows at him, and ran, jumped and flew over the couch. I thought we had reverted back to a few months ago!

Meanwhile, Krissa was not her usual self, either -- she was fussy as well. It was still a disaster when Joe came home, I could tell he was surprised by our chaotic children. Thankfully, both calmed down after my dad and stepmom left but the key word there is AFTER. . .I told Logan I was SO embarrassed (it looked like I had zero control over them and, aside from New Year's, Seb hadn't seen them forever so who knows what impression she has of them now) -- I pray he does not act like that again when we have company.

Nothing to report about Friday, January 6 or Saturday, January 7 -- other than we had game night since Logan is great at playing games now (Candyland, my childhood box of Chutes and Ladders and Connect Four, etc.) Also, Krissa tried a sippy cup for the first time. It was pretty similar to the bottle so I am sure it will take some time for her to catch on. Thankfully, cereal is a cinch now! She gobbles it up no problem. I notice that whenever I think about it, I feel a little lighter. . .it is a weight off my shoulders both for getting a break from feeding her and also hoping that it will help her do better when other people are watching her.Sunday, January 8th we went to church/Logan to Sunday School and then went out to lunch afterward at the Mexican restaurant we'd gone to with my stepdad when we'd first moved into our new house (Los Tres Amigos) with the couple from church, Brad & Shelby -- and their 6 & 4 year old girls Kaylin and Avery. Logan just loves Avery (born September 2007). It is so cute to watch him with her! She's great with him. Shelby doesn't work on Mondays so we are going to start doing playdates! I am happy because all of my other friends here either don't have children at all or they have kids too old or too young to play with Logan; Avery is the closest in age to him.

My mom and stepdad stopped by later in the day and Logan went home with them. Monday, January 9th I went to the mall for round two of shopping. This time I found an outfit! Of course it's not black like what I had decided for our family picture, but it's denim so if I can find stuff for the other 2 (Logan already has something that will work) then that's what we'll do instead.

Krissa was great (we shopped for 3 hrs) and the sales ladies thought she was adorable because I sat her in front of a mirror and she chatted to herself the entire time, LOL. (Here she is in one of the shirts I wore as a baby, as well as what she is wearing in pictures #1, #6, and #8 on this post.)My stepdad dropped Logan back off at our house after he got off work.

Today, January 10th Joe's mom came over for 6 hrs while her car was getting worked on. It was a nice help to have her here while I cleaned the house. (Krissa took a rare two hour nap from noon to 2 pm and still her usual half-hour nap at 6 pm!)

Tomorrow, Tuesday, January 11th I'm turning my healthy regimen up a notch. As I wrote last week, I had worked out for the first time since having Krissa. I've since done the eliptical two more times and started eating better, but this week am shooting for 5 days a week from now on and eating much better. Because, the more that Krissa starts to eat cereal and then in March veggies and fruit, the less calories I'm going to be burning from nursing. At this point with Logan I wrote the post: Best Way To Lose Baby Weight? Breastfeed! which explained that I was burning 1080 extra calories a day! I don't think it's as much with Krissa since she's 3 lbs under Logan was, but it's still been nice.

I'll conclude with the other post that I wrote during this point with Logan:

My Son's 5th Month