Sad News

Please pray for Logan's babysitter, Gail. He went to her house today and when I first arrived to pick him up, I saw Logan's smiling face at the end of the stairs. I smiled as he said, "It's my mommy!"

But my smile immediately left when I rounded the corner -- there was a HORRIBLE feeling in the air. I actually felt sick to my stomach. Gail was cleaning up but didn't really look at me so I said, "Did Logan have a good day today?"

She said her usual response, "Logan has a good day every day."

But she still wasn't making eye contact with me and I KNEW that something was wrong so I didn't want to just leave. To stall I said, "Did he take an okay nap today?"

She said, "Yeah. . .uh, how about you sit down."

At that point I knew I was right; I nervously sat down. Logan was happily playing with Madison, Cy, and Zay (all his age and his best friends there) so I sat there waiting for her to say something. . .but she didn't. She looked like she was going to burst into tears and she kept looking from one side to the other. I'm not sure how long of silence there was but I finally said gently, "Is something wrong?"

She nodded. "The doctors found some more things."

The last time I was there to pick up Logan, she'd told me that she was going to be off March 18 & 21st because she is having surgery. In January she'd had a colonoscopy because she was having some sort of problem but everything was fine with that, however they discovered she had a pollup the size of a pencil in her uterus and so that's what is being removed in March.

I waited for her to say more but she didn't. She looked so awful I didn't know what to say, either. I asked what they found.

She didn't answer for the longest time, then said, "It's pretty serious."

The way she was acting made me think they told her she is dying! I wanted to cry. She then said that she's going to have to take some time off. I said that was understandable and asked if she knew for how long and she said "a few weeks." I asked her if it started immediately and she said "yes."

At that point Madison's dad came to get her so I figured it was best that I leave so she could tell him. I said that I wanted to give her a hug and so we hugged and I told her that I hope everything goes okay. Logan saw me do that and hugged her, too, then gave her the cutest smile and wave. She said, "You have the sweetest boy I've ever met in all of my years."

It made me want to cry because she was saying it like it was the last time she's going to see him! I thanked her and then Logan & I left. I could tell that Madison's dad was wondering what was wrong. I asked Logan later if Gail was sad today (I saw Kleenex laying around so I don't know if they called her today to tell her the news or what) but he said, "No she was happy. Madison cried, though."

I wish that I knew more of what to pray for. . .what exactly did the doctors find. . .what hope there is, etc. She's usually extremely open with her life (Joe and I have joked in the past that it's almost too much so), so that makes this whole thing even more bothersome -- because she was out of character. It makes me think the worst -- did they tell her she only has six months to live?

She didn't say that she is retiring or done with her at-home daycare indefinitely, but maybe she doesn't want to make that kind of decision so soon. Maybe she's using the next several weeks to figure it all out. Needless to say, I've decided to go back to the preschool idea for Logan.

On my other blog's final post (Winter Update/Conclusion To Blog) I had said that I'd pushed back my original plan of starting Logan in preschool in February (this month), to April. Then on this blog (Three-And-A-Half Months) I said that now I was thinking I'd wait until next January so that I could hire a nanny for evenings and weekends for when we need a sitter for Logan (he'd still go to Gail's two days a week until starting preschool) and to help me for an hour here and there with the new baby. (We can't afford preschool and a nanny together.) Ironically I had planned to email the nannies this weekend who I selected, to set up interviews!

BUT after learning this info, I emailed the preschool that we chose after touring our top two choices in October (we decided on La Petite because it's right at the end of my street and they allow you to pick your days as well as hours which is more convenient for me as a stay at home mom).

I am waiting to hear back on whether they still have an opening and if they do then Joe and I have decided to start Logan in March! Eeek! Talk about a quick change of plans! But that way he'll have four months to adjust before his next adjustment of his brother or sister. He'll be three months older than I was when I started preschool. We'll have him go two days a week there rather than Gail's and if she does start back up again then he will go to her when I have an appt. or something on a different day than preschool, and I'll have her watch Baby #2 for an hour or two when I need it rather than get a nanny. Therefore, hopefully we can still rely on the grandparents to come from Iowa whenever we need a weekend babysitter as I have no idea when we'll ever get around to having one. :p

The only problem is that there isn't going to be enough time for me to get Logan started in preschool before my ultrasound and doctor's appt. next Thursday! This is my longest appt. of my 9 months (they said two hours)! So not only would that not be good for Logan to come along, but it's during his nap! :( So now I need to figure out what I'm going to do with him next Thursday. . .

But, more importantly, my heart and mind are on Gail tonight. I pray that the news was not life-threatening and that she will be able to put this all behind her soon. I've always been so impressed with her at 50 yrs old because she's always seemed so healthy. She looks better than I ever have, and her personality is ideal for babysitting a houseful of kids, she's laid back but at the same time always has energy. She is like another grandmother to Logan . . .he is going to miss her. . .I really hope that today was not his last day ever.