One Born Every Minute

My continuation from yesterday's post will have to come next time, as I wanted to discuss a different topic today.

Have any of you been watching the new show on Lifetime called One Born Every Minute? It started last week and is on Tuesdays at 9 pm CST (so there have been two episodes so far). I put it on my DVR before it even premiered just because I'm all about that kind of stuff, haha.

It is a good show, but last week's title was "To Medicate Or Not?" and totally made it look like medication was the way to go. There were three women, two which were vaginal births. One went natural and the other requested the epidural and pain meds right away. The natural woman took forever and it was portrayed as very unappealing while the medicated women made labor look like a breeze, as it went fast and she didn't even flinch. But that is not realistic. I mean, it's realistic that it can happen that way, but not any more so than the other way around! So I was disappointed that they only showed it the one way because for people who know nothing about this kind of stuff then it would appear that natural is the harder option when in reality it's not! I had a natural labor last time and it was easy and not that painful at all. Granted, it was only three hours (prior to pushing) so I can't compare to women who are doing it for quadruple that amount, but thanks to Hypnobirthing I had my ideal experience, so I will attempt the same thing again.

This week's episode was titled "Expect The Unexpected" and this time the longest labor was a medicated woman, although all three were this time were (one was a c-section). . .but the hardest labor (also medicated) had both Joe and me in tears. Why? Because it was about shoulder dystocia. It was so similar to Logan's birth. . .and considering how this has become something hanging over our heads with this labor, it just hit wayyyyy close to home. :(

The woman's baby was even smaller than Logan (this baby was right at 7 lbs and she pushed for two hrs -- which is 2 hrs less than I did) and yet still got stuck in her pelvis. It was awful. . .brought back the memories of right before Logan came out, my doctor told the nurse to get the team to come in and so the NICU staff and all of these other people came running in the room and Logan came out all limp and lifeless and not crying. . .and they wouldn't let me hold him because he wasn't right. . .and everyone was working on him until they got him to breathe and cry. . .UGH, I really don't want to go through that again. Or worse.

The nurse on the show explains "turtling" -- where the baby is moving back up in the birth canal. Joe says he remembers that happened with Logan -- that I would push and he'd move but then when my contraction was over he would move back up.

They said that shoulder dystocia is the worst possible thing that can happen during vaginal childbirth. It is considered one of the worst emergencies for an OB. That is what my previous doctor said at my final appt. with her (which is no wonder why she wanted to schedule a c-section with this baby). The thing is, I didn't even hear the term shoulder dystocia until that final appt. Before that, my 4 hr pushing phase was always said to be because Logan was in the wrong position for my pelvis. I should have asked if she had written shoulder dystocia in her notes or why I hadn't been told that before. . .maybe she just thought that was the reason now when looking back on it. :p But Joe thinks he does remember them talking about the shoulders during my pushing phase, so I will have to ask Dr. Sullivan (my new doc) next time I see her what exactly is written on my records.

I did see Dr. Sullivan's face flinch for a split second when I mentioned there could have possibly been shoulder dystocia. The whole posterior position is a piece of cake compared to that. On the show and everything I read on the internet, the shoulder dystocia is considered "the worst nightmare for an OB or midwife."

So, as you can imagine, it was the best and worst thing for me to watch. Worst, because obviously I don't need to spend these next five months worrying how I'll do pushing my baby out. Best, though, because I also don't want to have anxiety over a c-section and this reminds me that may be the better option for me.

Thankfully, a few weeks ago I got to a place where I am 50/50 with both. I feel this is the best place to be so that I won't be disappointed if my ideal (another vaginal birth) can't happen. It was after talking to as many people as I could who have had both experiences -- whether that being the c-section first or their vaginal birth first -- and the results are mixed. I think that is life in general! There are some women who say the vaginal birth was their better experience while others say the c-section was. Some had horrible c-section stories when compared to their vaginal births, while others had "perfect" c-section stories with vaginal births that they'd never want to relive again. I believe that's because there isn't a "best" for everyone -- it depends on the person, the situation, and the baby.

I'm still hoping and will try for a vaginal birth (am considering taking actual hypnobirthing classes this time rather than just re-reading the book), but if my attitude is positive toward both then I have more of a chance of whatever happens being positive. I already know what it's like to have a baby get stuck in the birth canal and if my pushing phase indicates that's going to happen again I am not willing to take a chance and see whether my baby comes out healthy like Logan or whether he/she could have lifelong health problems -- or die. I will know that I did everything I could to avoid a c-section, and therefore if I end up with one I will still be able to be happy afterward because having a healthy baby is all that matters!

If I do get to have another vaginal birth and it goes well then I will feel I got my first choice! But at least this isn't "now or never" -- I did get my first choice already with Logan. I feel I was really lucky last time, not only did I have the best case scenario with only three hours of labor leading up to pushing that wasn't any more painful than my periods, but I'm reminded time and time again that there is hardly any other doctor on the planet who wouldn't have performed a c-section last time -- but I didn't have one and since everything turned out well, the whole experience to me was perfect!

And, my recovery was faster than what is typical; I felt and looked normal "down there" after three days (possibly due to my 4 hr pushing phase which got "that area" ready without tearing). Even though I had an episiotomy, most women still tear, however I didn't and since the episiotomy was so small and a perfect line, my recovery couldn't have been any easier. (I couldn't "you know what" without pain until Logan was 4 months old but I learned later that was 100% due to breastfeeding.)

With that said, that doesn't mean my next vaginal birth will be an easy recovery, so I can't use the excuse of "c-sections are longer recoveries" as a reason not to want one. Most of the women I talked to actually did not have that bad of recoveries from c-sections (although there's still the scar), and there are a lot of women I know who DID have difficult recoveries from vaginal births. Vaginal births pose the risk of pelvic floor damage, perineal trauma and tissue damage. However, even if a c-section recovery goes as easy as possible, there are more things a woman can't do afterward -- and to me the worst is not being able to hold their older child for 4-6 weeks! The thought of telling Logan that I can only pat his back and give him a quick kiss for two months brings tears to my eyes! I hadn't heard that you can't drive for 2 weeks, either.

Last time I didn't want to leave the hospital (2 days seemed way too fast), but this time I'll have a child at home and so I know I'll want to get home to him as soon as I can (a c-section would require 4 days in the hospital). I also would have to have help for two weeks afterward (with Logan I liked having that first week without any company).

I also don't like that they tie you down during a c-section and the medication they give makes many women throw up, so you have to turn your head while lying down (with no hands) to vomit in a container that someone else is holding. I wrote more about c-sections on my last blogsite in my post titled HypnoBirthing, including how there are more risks to the mother during a c-section, such as blood clots, infections, or damage to other organs (as well as anesthesia problems). More women die during c-sections than with vaginal births, and blood loss is more for all women than during a typical vaginal birth. There's a higher rate of post partum depression and breastfeeding difficulties with c-sections, although none of the people who I communicated with had this experience.

But there is a pro: there is less stress on the baby. Yes, there are more often problems with a baby's lungs (in a vaginal birth their lungs are compressed to help them breathe the best way), but I don't personally know anyone who had this experience (Logan, on the other hand, had to go to the NICU for an hour since his lungs weren't perfect after his vaginal delivery). So I pray that my labor this time gives us good signs in advance whether my baby is going to have a stressful delivery or not so that we never get to that point -- whether it is because we do a c-section to avoid that point (in which case none of the "cons" of a c-section matter), or because this baby is fitting better through my pelvis.

I just really hope that I go into labor on a healthy day (meaning my first day of 36 weeks or any day after) but that my baby is smaller than Logan because then I will be 100% relaxed with doing another vaginal birth. If not, I won't be able to help it no matter how into hypnobirthing I am or how many "better" positions and things I do compared to last time -- it's not last night's episode of One Born Every Minute that will be playing in my head, but my own real life episode of Logan's birth!

As you might have figured in my Three-And-A-Half Months post (when we went to Roja), I am getting enjoyment with eating again, so Joe, Logan, and I went to Red Lobster a couple of weeks ago. But overall I'm eating so much healthier than last time and being more active, so I can't believe I've gained three pounds over what I had with Logan at this stage! (I've gained a total of 12 lbs in this pregnancy.) I'm hoping now that my nausea is officially over that will help because I don't have to eat all of the time. I haven't even had that much hunger these past 16 weeks, I just didn't want to get nauseous!!! Thankfully, I know women who gained a ton during pregnancy and had six or seven pound babies while some women gained the minimum amount and had eight or nine pound babies. That must be what my previous doctor meant after I had Logan and she said "you can't fully control the size of your baby." So, if I end up with a nine or ten baby and therefore have to have a c-section, I will know I did the best I could. But let's hope all of the people who have participated in our challenge so far are right. . .as you've all been nice on the predicted size, LOL. We'll see how the baby's size is right now at my ultrasound in THREE weeks!