Confirmation

Wow, so Saturday morning I prayed to God "please give me a sign on what I should do. If I should stay with my current doctor then please make it obvious. If I should change please make that obvious! I really need you to tell me what to do because I have no idea what is best for my future and baby."

Well that evening we were invited to my friend Stacy's house to celebrate her 30th birthday. I started talking to her friend Lisa, who had her first baby this past February. I remember learning a couple of months before her son was born that she had my same doctor. I'd told her that I loved Dr. T and thought she would too. (Dr. T graduated from medical school in 2000 so she's been a professional doctor for over ten years.) Well, while I had talked to Lisa about her labor and life as a new mommy, I had never talked to her about how her experience had gone with our doctor.

But, at Stacy's house this past weekend I asked Stacy for the name of her doctor who she has used & loved with both of her pregnancies/deliveries (she had read my blog so she knew why I was asking), and then I explained the story to Lisa. Lisa and her husband (Jeff) began passionately talking about how they were never using our doctor again!!!

I think my mouth dropped to the floor when I heard about their experience. They said the whole nine months were a big disappointment and they thought she was horrible during Lisa's labor! To make a long story short, Lisa is tinier than I am and she pushed out an almost 9 lb baby. I said, "Dr T was okay with that?" and she said "No." Dr. T hardly said hello to her when she arrived, she just walked in the room, took one look at Lisa and said, "Let's wheel her in for a c-section." Lisa heard that and got angry because her labor had been VERY long -- she'd been up for 48 hrs straight by that point. She thought "no way am I having a c-section after going through all of this!" So when Dr. T left the room Lisa pushed as hard and fast as she could and when Dr. T came back to wheel her away, their baby boy was crowning! Minutes later he came out so fast that Dr. T almost dropped him on the floor! Jeff said he about caught Landen himself because he saw the umbilical cord become straight and Dr. T caught him right above the floor!

They had many other details to tell but what got me the most was that Dr T had requested an UNNECESSARY C-SECTION! Clearly, there was no reason for it since Lisa had no problem pushing Landen out. Dr. T just felt that because of Lisa's size and the size of Landen that she couldn't do it. Sound familiar???

I thought the timing of my prayer and then hearing that story was not a coincidence, I felt it was confirmation that it is in my best interests to switch doctors. So I am calling both Chris' midwife at UNMC (Lydia) and Stacy's OBGYN at Lakeside Hospital (Ann) -- Ann will also go to Bergan for births, which is the hospital I used last time and liked (aside from the one nurse, the rest were spectacular as it is the #1 hospital for births in Omaha), however my current doctor doesn't go to Lakeside so this sounds kind of bad but I think I'll skip Bergan this time JUST so Dr T doesn't somehow find out I'm there with another doctor or I run into her! Because yes. . .I will feel bad about leaving her, since I assume she will realize it (or even be notified since I'd still be in the Alegent Healthcare System?) at some point. Lakeside is a close second to Bergan so I doubt I will notice any difference, I've heard just as good things about Lakeside.

Anyway, I will set up office visits with the new women to see if I feel more comfortable going to either of them instead. I probably won't get appointments until after Christmas, which is fine since Logan's still off this week from his at-home-daycare since we have to take him to his pediatrician on Tuesday to get confirmation that he's over his pneumonia. Saturday evening was our first outing since Thanksgiving (we felt it would be okay since he finished his medication last Thursday).

I'm still keeping my 1/11/11 at 1 appointment with Dr. T. . .but I have a feeling it will be my last. I just don't feel that I can trust her even if I have a 7 lb 12 oz baby (1-2 ounces smaller than Logan). She just seemed too set on giving me a c-section -- it wasn't until after several minutes of me basically pleading for there to be an exception that she threw the "well if the baby is smaller" idea out there. But I could tell she was thinking that he/she won't be and so even if they are, I just have this feeling she'll find another excuse to give me a c-section! (By the way, I've had several people come forward telling me that their second and even third babies WERE smaller than their first so there IS hope.)

I don't know what happened to her -- three years ago she was so much more relaxed about this topic. She was supportive of my hypnobirthing birth plan and even during my final appt. when I was getting uncomfortable and asked if she thought I should be induced, she said "I would prefer not to because you'd be more likely to end up in c-section."

Even after the 4-hr pushing experience, when she told me in the hospital that I needed to consider a c-section with my next pregnancy, she was easy-going at my six week check up and said "you can still try first to have a vaginal birth, though." We talked about it again that fall (2008) at my annual exam. Every time I asked her more questions she seemed like the same doctor I'd known, respected, and loved since I started going to her Spring 2004.

But I did not get to see her in 2009 because she was delivering a baby during my annual exam (so I had her PA instead). This past annual exam (September 2010) was the first time I'd seen her in two years, not counting in the hall one day when she remembered me and talked friendly to me, recounting details of Logan's birth (which always made me feel good that with thousands of patients she knew exactly who I was -- but Lisa had the opposite happen, she saw Dr. T one day and said hi, but Dr. T showed no recognition of who she was).

So I don't know what happened between 2009 and 2010 but she seems much more hard/tough and no longer interested in doing vaginal births if she can help it!

Joe and I left our Dec 9th appt. feeling we had been to a completely different doctor. So I don't know if she had a bad experience between fall 2008 and when Lisa had her baby in Feb 2010 or she just thought more about mine, and over the years it got exaggerated in her mind to being something that shouldn't have happened. But there Logan was in her office last week, the first time since he was 6 wks old, just as perfect as could be. Proof that I I DID IT. Was my pushing phase their ideal scenario? No, but I DID IT. Still, she has seemed to lose all faith in women's bodies, or at least smaller women with babies bigger than six pounds. Newsflash: It happens all of the time! (And has since the beginning of time.)

I watched a video of Stacy's doctor talking on Alegent's website and her last words were "I believe in listening to my patients and not dictating what they should do." I called her office first thing this morning and am currently waiting to hear back!