Moving Day

Since my update last week, Two Weeks Old, we have been working toward "moving day." Packing, cleaning, and everything else required to get our house on the market. It was supposed to go up tomorrow (Monday, August 8th) but we did not get everything done :( All we have left is to finish cleaning, though. I PRAY it sells quickly!!!!!

Our old house took one month (both times -- some of you remember that we put our house up for sale in July 2007 and had a buyer who wanted to rent it from August until January. We naively let him, and then he backed out of buying it in January. So, we put the house back on the market in February 2008 and had a buyer in March). We would be overjoyed if this house sold that quickly, but the housing market is worse than it was then, and that includes our neighborhood. When we met with the realtors last month, they showed us the stats on the other houses around us that are currently for sale, as well as those that have sold the past year, and it was depressing. We'll be lucky if we can break even from what we purchased it at 4 years ago. . .and if we can sell it before the winter, since once November comes the chance of it selling before the spring is extremely low. (Due to the holidays with our bad economy, and bad weather.)

Picking up where I left off in Two Weeks Old. . .Monday, August 1st Stacy came over with her kids Jaxson and Olivia to meet Krissa! She was way too kind -- she brought over gifts for Krissa, Logan, and me! Not only that, but she had made lasagna, bread, and cake, which we all (including Joe who was working from home) ate for lunch! Needless to say, it was sad again to see friends leave our house for the last time, especially when Jaxson & Logan hugged each other goodbye.

On Tuesday, August 2nd, Joe had his final day of working from home and then he & Logan headed to Iowa, and Joe returned to work on Wednesday after three weeks. Get this -- he was offered a promotion! This, after just one month at his new job (and several of those days working from home)! He turned it down, though. It was the same position he had here and he just didn't feel ready to take on that much responsibility when he's still getting the hang of things. So they said they'd check back with him in the spring.

Meanwhile, Krissa and I just hung out at home on Wednesday, August 3rd. I remember when Joe had to go to Washington DC for work when Logan was a month old, I was almost in a panic being by myself with Logan because I didn't think I could do it by myself. But now a newborn seems a lot less work than a three year old (which is what I was a single mom to for five weeks this summer)!!!!

Still, I am SO ready for us all to be settled and feel like a family again. It seems like this has been going on forever rather than just two months. I am exhausted (and I don't mean physically). I think this summer has really made us all appreciate being together permanently! Logan told my mom and stepdad (where he's been staying this week) that he likes their house. Then he asked, "Are you going to stay here forever?" I thought that was sweet. . .Logan, looking for a house that will remain in his life now that he knows that people move. :/

Thankfully, he's been doing great again with the idea of moving. My parents took him to a park and he told a boy that he lives in Omaha but is moving to a new house, but the house isn't done being built yet. The boy said that he's been to Omaha to the zoo and Logan told him that he goes to the Omaha zoo a lot. I am so impressed that he understands our life to a T.

Anyway, on Thursday, August 4th, Krissa and I made our first venture out together. (I realized it was the first time I drove a vehicle since my doctor's appt. the day before she was born!) The dogs needed food and I needed a diaper genie refill. When I put Krissa in the carseat she started crying. I had a flashback to Logan, the first time that I attempted to take him out by myself, I couldn't get him in the carseat right and he was screaming. I started sobbing and called Joe at work, telling him that I couldn't get Logan in his carseat. Joe actually came home from work and showed me how to do it. . .now I'm like, what was so hard about the carseat??? With Krissa crying in the carseat, I stayed completely calm and continued on my way. This is the difference of being a second time mom. :-) As soon as I put her in the car she stopped crying and slept the whole trip through PetSmart and Walgreens.

Unlike in my previous two posts about our life since coming home from the hospital, she DOES cry now, but thankfully it's still mild. (Although, she has real tears already, just like Logan did at birth.) Her cry is IDENTICAL to what Logan's was. Even the sounds she makes when she gets antsy, as well as expressions throughout the day. . .EXACTLY like Logan! She even had a nap where she was crying in her sleep and it was as if I was watching the video that I took of Logan doing this when he was a couple of months old (https://picasaweb.google.com/AndreaMRodgers/JuneDVDs#5528004229895954930)

There have been several times I've almost called her "Logan" because it is like being in a time machine and having him in front of me as a baby again. Until now, everything had been so different between the two of them -- but now they look and act (as babies) so much alike. They even have the same cowlick on the back of their head (like Joe) :-) They have a different hairline, though. I remember when Logan was born we said he kind of had a widow's peak. Krissa's is the complete opposite. Also opposite is that Krissa doesn't mind me putting clothes on and off her, but Logan hated it (as well as the diaper which I wrote about previously). This is great because I'm having fun dressing her up and putting headbands on her :-)Krissa's first real cry at home was bathtime (Logan hated bathtime for his first several months, too). Today she had bath at home #6 and she stayed happy, so I'm really hoping that she'll start to like it now.

She also cries if she doesn't get fed as quickly as she should. Yes, darn it, she's turned out to be just like Logan after all who decided from the start that food is the most important thing. (Maybe my breast milk isn't very satisfying???) This past week she ate every hour from 1 pm to 11 pm! (Rather than her previous schedule of 5 pm to midnight. I'm glad that Logan didn't have a consistent schedule until 4 months old because chances are Krissa's schedule will change again soon.)

On the bright side, I've been able to make her bedtime one hour earlier than previously written -- so, me being able to sleep from 11 to 4, and then 4:15 to 9, I've felt more rested since having her than I did prior to having her! (Very different from Logan, when Joe and I were so sleep deprived that we found ourselves doing the strangest things).

I really don't mind the frequent nursing because I'm just so happy that breastfeeding is going easily. It's so nice not to have to pump every day -- every HOUR -- and to see and feel that everything is working the way it's supposed to. I admit I sort of felt like a failure in this department with Logan. It had just seemed that nature should make it all happen naturally, but that's not what happened. It was forced for 9 months. For three years, I longingly looked at how easy it was for some breastfeeding mothers and hoped that someday I'd be able to relate. Even though this isn't a fail vs succeed situation, there is just a sense of proud accomplishment this time.

This time we actually have the opposite problem -- rather than her get mad like Logan because I didn't have enough milk, my flow is often too fast for her and so that makes her mad. She has choked several times :( Also my milk supply is so good and she is such a good eater that she keeps overeating and throwing up! I had said in Two Weeks Old that she had projectile spit up twice, well since then it's been happening every day. She spits up WAY more than Logan ever did (like, 3 times an hour). I googled this on the internet and read that it is normal at this age because their esophogus' and digestive system aren't mature yet, and three week old's don't know yet how much to eat so they often overflow :p Since she's continued to have plenty of wet/dirty diapers and I can tell by her thighs and cheeks (haha) that she's still gaining weight, I don't think it's something I need to take her to the doctor for. . .but we'll keep an eye on it.

Thankfully, between 11 pm to 1 pm she only eats twice (4 am & 9 am). Everything and everyone says to feed on demand at this age, which I agree with as a supporter of attachment parenting, but then at the same time the suggestion is to decrease feedings for babies who are throwing up due to eating too much. Um. . .how do I do this?

I used to always say Logan was easy because all I had to do when he cried was feed him and then he was happy. But, he was 20 lbs at 5 months old, LOL. Krissa is the same way -- if she starts to cry she always makes the face and hand gestures that she wants to eat and so I nurse her and she is happy. I'm not really sure what to do instead, especially because most often she nurses for just 5 minutes -- yes, 5 minutes!

We've tried to force the pacifier on her to see if that will distract her in place of a feeding. I had written in her One Week Old post that she had loved it at the hospital but we stopped using it after her first night at home when it kept falling out and we were getting up every few minutes to put it back in her mouth. Well, at her two week check up, our pediatrician said that the pacifier and the swaddling (which she'd also loved at the hospital but we gave up on after the first night at home because the blanket kept coming loose) would help make bedtime easier since I told him how it was taking her an hour to go to sleep and she won't ever fall asleep without me holding her.

But we were too late!

When trying to re-introduce these things to her, she adamantly refused them! She acted like we were gagging her and putting the most disgusting thing in her mouth when it came to the pacifier (we've tried three different ones), and that we were torturing her when swaddling her.

We've continued to try the pacifier because I have read that the sucking need is very important to babies -- one of the most important needs right along with food and affection/love. But if she doesn't take it over the next week, then we'll probably give up (which means she'll continue using me as one). My hope is that over the next month as she starts to take an interest in her swing and mat/play gym, among other things that right now she could care less about, she'll be distracted from always wanting to eat and then hopefully the throwing up will stop.

Also, maybe if she starts drinking pumped breastmilk in a bottle. As I mentioned in Two Weeks Old, I pump 3 to 5 oz (that total is from both breasts) in 5-10 minutes. Maybe that is too much for her (they say to multiply 2.5 by your baby's weight and that is how many ounces they should have in 24 hours. I'm guessing Krissa is around 9 lbs now so she needs around 23 oz a day.) We'd be able to monitor her intake via bottle and, for example, just feed her 2 oz rather than 5 or whatever.

We'll see. . .she had her first bottle on Saturday. . .but I'm getting ahead of myself again -- back to Thursday:That night I got scared because her breathing became horribly raspy. I couldn't tell if it was her lungs or her nose. It was her first rough night since her first night at home, as she was up every two hours and each time her breathing sounded louder and more horrible! I was so close to calling Joe or the after hours pediatrician line. I got out the suction thing that they gave us at the hospital in case her nose was congested, but I couldn't tell if it got anything out. She didn't seem upset (when she awoke she just wanted to nurse), but I co-slept with her all night because I was so worried about her. Strangely, in the morning her breathing was completely back to normal. . .but then that night (Fri) my nose started to get congested and my throat hurt. Joe said the same thing and then I learned that Logan's had a mild cold while at my parents' place. So that was obviously the culprit, but she seemed too young to have caught a virus already (and it's August!) but we must have fought it off together before it turned into anything because by the next morning I was fine, too. (I was so relieved as with our move this week that would have NOT been fun!)

On Friday, August 5th Joe came home (we decided to leave Logan at my mom and stepdad's because we knew we'd never get done with our house otherwise). The POD had been delivered so he started putting in the boxes that we'd packed. Meanwhile, Krissa and I took our first walk in the stroller :-) The last time I'd walked around the block was at 4:30 in the morning on July 15th! :p

Saturday, August 6th my neighbor Jenn came over to meet Krissa! :-) Also, Joe finished packing the POD, while I decided to get my hair done so that I wouldn't have to worry about making another appt until October. (When we come back for Vala's Pumpkin Patch!!!!) Thus why Krissa had her first breastmilk in a bottle. She wouldn't take the bottle the first time we tried, but this time she did -- cold, too, just like Logan used to which makes it so much easier than having to worry about warming up bottles. . .I highly recommend it! So, I'm relieved to know that once we're settled in our new place I can leave her with family when I need to go somewhere, and not worry that I have to always be there to feed her. . .AND, she did great without me! (Joe wore my baby bjorn while he packed and loaded boxes, lol.) Until then, these past three weeks she had seemed to panic if I wasn't around (even if I was in the same room but she couldn't see me). I have to admit that since Logan was my firstborn, I took his "self-security" for granted. This is kind of morbid, but I remember thinking that up until he was three months old I could die and he'd be okay. (Then, at three months I could tell that he'd know he lost his mama.) Well Krissa seemed like she would have been traumatized on day one! I've been treasuring her desire to be held because I think that my responding to it will help with bonding/our future relationship, plus I know that it won't always be like this. . .but I want her to feel secure and confident without me, as Logan always has -- so hopefully it'll continue!

Today, Sunday, August 7th, my dad and stepmom came over to meet Krissa -- they brought some adorable girlie clothes and a cute lamb as gifts :-) They stayed for lunch and then took the things we'll need at their house.

Our realtor also came over to have us sign the papers for our list price and date of next Monday, August 15. If Logan hadn't been gone since last Tues night then I would just stay here all week, but I miss him terribly, plus our internet, phones, and TV are being turned off this week. Joe also touched up the paint today (and Krissa and I took our second -- and final walk -- around the neighborhood) as well as mowed the lawn and self-cleaned our oven, so he is waiting to go back to Iowa until tomorrow morning for work (and the POD is being picked up tomorrow), and then I'll go over in the evening for the first night of our 7 weeks at my dad & stepmom's. We'll return to Omaha next weekend to finish cleaning the house.

Fortunately, our new house is coming along well (so I keep praying that it will somehow be done before the 7 weeks). Joe's mom took pictures last Sunday because she came over here before her trip to Colorado (one of Joe's nieces got married today), just for a few hours to help load some things in her truck to take to her house. On her way home she stopped by our house and saw that it's all framed and looking like a house now, whew.

In other news. . .I forgot to mention that shortly after Krissa was born, Joe was talking to one of his friends from high school. Andy was like, "I think it's funny that you named your daughter Krissa Rodgers." Joe was like, "Why?" Andy said, "Because of Chrisa Rogers in the grade below us." Apparently Joe went to school with a girl by the same name (just spelled differently)!!!! It wasn't like they didn't know each other, either -- he talked to her regularly! I thought this was hilarious -- classic Joe! He showed me her picture and she was really pretty, but I told him that I think God fogged his brain because it was meant to be that our daughter is named Krissa but we were always both against naming our kids a name that we knew anyone with, no matter if we thought they were the most awesome person in the world!

I've blogged about Krissa being strong -- well she's rolled over three more times (making a total of 5) and the other day I got creeped out because I had put her in the pack n play facing east and two minutes later I went back over to her and she was facing west! She had turned 180 degrees. I was giving her tummy time (something that Logan hated at this age but she loves) so she was even on her stomach. . .I have no idea how she did that (and never made a sound, either).The other night it was really sweet, I was singing to her while she was nursing and then after awhile I stopped. Well she started making a noise like she was humming. It totally melted my heart because it was like she was picking up where I left off.

I've discovered that bedtime no longer takes an hour but is rather immediate if I just lay back in the recliner immediately after nursing her and then I fall asleep for an hour with her on my chest, before putting her in her crib. I might regret this months down the road, but right now it's easier than what we had been doing of me going to my room and getting up every 3-5 min to return to her room to hold her, rock her, nurse her again. . .and again. . .and again. . .

Overall she is still an easy baby who is very calm, content, and happy throughout the day which makes for a calm, content, and happy mom :-)

Something that I forgot to mention in Krissa's birth story is that 1:53 (the time she was born) is coincidentally the exact same time that my water broke for Logan! Only, with him it was 1:53 am, and Krissa was born at 1:53 pm. Isn't that kind of crazy? I'm thinking that should be my "lucky" time on the clock! Also, she was born around the same time of day that I was (2:15 pm).

As what happened at the 3 week mark with Logan, I keep having flashbacks to Krissa's journey here that bring different emotions every time I "relive" them.

Starting with the moment that I took the pregnancy test (Third Time Was A Charm Again) -- I think about seeing the the result for "negative" and going back to bed (our mattress was on the floor that week because Bella had taken a bunch of trash under our bed so we'd had to take it apart to clean underneath). I felt so disappointed. . .so sad for the first time with the result. Then I recall my heart leaping out of my chest when I returned to the test hours later and saw that it'd changed to "positive." I remember how nervous I was at the library with Logan during story time that morning, anxious to take another test to know whether my first or second result was correct on that earlier test. . .we ran into one of Joe's friends/co workers there. . .

Fast forward to Christmas. . .I remember Logan watching Barney on Netflix, a Christmas episode that he watched again a couple of weeks ago and I began to feel nauseous until I realized that I was having that reaction because that's how I'd felt when Logan had watched it the first time! (It had been during my month of morning sickness.)

Before we knew it, it was March. When I got my first clear pictures of the baby inside me. The day we learned we were having a girl! The other day I got giddy when I thought about how when I was a little girl I used to scribble the names of my future family. Usually my husband was whoever I had a crush on at the time. :p The last time I did this I was 22 and engaged to Joe. I wondered, who would our kids be? Now I know!

Joe & Andrea, Logan & Krissa Rodgers. It has a perfect sound to it :-) Our family is complete.

And then came the night of the full moon in July. I think about how the nurses were really the perfect nurses for each part of my labor. From Erica, laid back during those first hours as we were waiting for something to accompany my water breaking, to Gwen who was with me when I started pitocin and was chatty which distracted me, to Mary who had the edge that I needed to push my baby out.

I'm sure Gwen never would have thought that when she said goodbye at 1 pm that in less than an hour I would have my baby! I can recall walking around the hospital floor with Joe during the noon hour and saying, "I feel so normal, I hope it's like this to 10 cm!" Only to be told minutes later that I was only 5 cm to which I burst into tears, thinking my labor was going to last forever. At 1:03 I'd had ZERO pain thus far. . .but at 1:53 Krissa was born!!!

And finally, I can still feel the excruciating pain that DID come. . .the pinched nerve in the bathroom and the rising of non-stop contractions once I laid down in bed, unlike anything that I was prepared for -- no doubt the difference of pitocin this time vs none with Logan. I remember each time I could feel the contraction coming before it was there. . .it actually brings tears to my eyes at this moment remembering how helpless it felt. When I asked for the epidural and the nurses said, "You don't need it, you're going to do it!", in my head I thought, well yeah, I'm gonna do it -- I have no choice!!! The thing is, I don't want to do it! I felt like I was in the 18th century, drenched in sweat, screaming. It was sooo different from Logan's birth where all of the nurses were amazed at how calm, quiet, and relaxed I was. I made childbirth look like a piece of cake. My previous doctor had called me a trooper, but I remember thinking to myself, My pushing phase was 4 hrs, yes, but my whole labor really wasn't painful. Anyone else could have done the same thing. It was THIS time that I felt superhuman, despite Krissa only taking 3 pushes!

Also, the first several times that I breastfed, I had horrible cramps, far worse this time than with Logan (it is normal for women to have cramps while nursing as their uterus shrinks); my nurse explained it's always worse the second time around. I had to keep reminding myself it was a good thing that my uterus was shrinking! Unfortunately, I didn't lose any weight this week so I'm stuck at 8 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (which is what I was at 2 weeks post partum). At this point after having Logan I was wearing all of my old pants; this time I'm 5 lbs away from fitting into them so I'm still wearing maternity jeans.

Speaking of having babies, Joe's old co-worker at his other job (i.e. different from the one I mentioned in my last post) who was due a week after me, was induced on Wednesday, August 3rd and had a 9 lb, 4 oz, 21.5 inch baby girl named Kaylee!

Let's see, is there anything else. . .just that Krissa has started pulling my hair. . .oh, and we ordered her newborn pics and announcements. I was hoping not to go over $400 (since all of the other photogs in this area are $500-$2000), but I did by $15. Needless to say, I told my freelance writing boss that I plan to return the end of this month :p (I had taken all of June & July off.) Hopefully I can. . .I'm not sure how often I will be able to use the computer or internet while I live at my dad's house. His connection is slow so I'm guessing there won't be as many blog posts or pictures on our photo site until we're in our new house. I will leave you with the post that I wrote about Logan describing weeks 3 to 6: Six Wks & Still In The Honeymoon Phase W/ Baby