My Two Feathers

Krissa turns 7 weeks old today! We've been staying at my dad's house for four weeks which means we have less time left than the time we've been here (three weeks to go)!!! So, there will be just one more long post after today. (I always say my long posts are equal to people who post daily, short, posts so if you read better in short amounts then just read x number of paragraphs a day, LOL.)

Not much has changed since my last post (except thankfully no would-be-comedy-moments-if-it-wasn't-me, like last time's first "solo day" disaster). . .I still resemble a video in fast forward. But, right now I am sitting on my dad's deck, staring at the lake which has the reflection of the sun going down -- and I am having a peaceful moment. Even though I know it will only last a few minutes before either Logan comes running out here or Joe needs me or Krissa cries or even the dogs require something. . .I am getting this moment.

I also have been treasuring each day with Krissa -- she has my heart!!!! I blogged here once about how in November, after I found out I was pregnant, I had a day I cried because I was so worried how baby #2 would fit into our life. It seems like it has been a perfect fit! She has completed our family.

I am in constant love with her. I just want to cuddle with her all of the time! After I was done being pregnant with Logan, I had the feeling of needing to be free. I had no trouble getting in my car and going to the grocery store without him when he was a week-and-a-half old, or getting my hair done when he was two weeks. I remember people asking, "wasn't it hard?" Oops, was it supposed to be? Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a flighty mom by any means -- Logan has been "my buddy" since day one. My world. My all. If he had cried when I'd left or shown signs that he needed me to hold him more than I was, then there's no way I would have felt comfortable leaving or ever putting him down! But, since he was always happy and we've always been so affectionate with each other and so close, I was able to drive down the street on my own which was all I needed to feel like I was my own person again.

Maybe this time is different since I knew what to expect with pregnancy (so it wasn't so binding this time), or because I already had a child (so not being "free" has become normal and comfortable), or maybe it's because of Krissa's personality (being "needy"). But needless to say, I can see why the baby of the family has the stereotype of being spoiled: there is a little sadness knowing that she is my last child and so I want to hold tight. I mentioned before that when I see her sleeping and she opens her eyes, she starts to panic because she can't see me, but when she sees me her whole body relaxes and she smiles. That just melts my heart! If she's crying, all I have to do is pick her up and she immediately stops and settles into me like she is in heaven. It feels really special to see the effect that I have on her. (It took Logan a couple of months to truly trust us. Food was what calmed him down, simply holding him wasn't enough.) Both of my kids make me feel like a good mom because they act like life & this world is wonderful so far.

So, I've been bringing her in bed with me for the 4 hr stretch that she does after sleeping 8 hrs at night because I feel it really bonds us. Yes, at one week she was sleeping 5 hrs straight through the night (with another 5 hrs after nursing), at three weeks 6 hrs (with another 4 hrs after nursing), at five weeks 7 hrs (with another 4 hrs after nursing), and at six weeks 8 hrs (with another 4 hrs after nursing). Just before I gave birth to her I said to someone, "I'll never understand those moms who say they have babies who sleep through the night right away." I guess I'm eating my words. . .but I'm happy to. . .I just hope it continues! (Although this means she wets the bed every night because they don't make overnight diapers for newborns!)I remember Joe's mom saying once that it's impossible to parent all your kids the same because they're not the same. For me, I see that I'm already more protective of Krissa. Logan came into this world with a stronger personality than Krissa did. In the nursery in the hospital where I delivered him, the nurses said he would be a leader. Even though I haven't seen any signs of that (he tends to be one of the quietest, most laid back/easy going in a group and has never been bossy, etc.) he has always had a secure confidence. So, my stepdad thinks Logan still will be a leader when he grows up, just not the aggressive, loud kind. I guess we'll see. . .

Since Krissa's personality is more "fragile," I already see myself acting different with her. I'm not a better mom with either of them -- I now see what Joe's mom meant -- I am simply parenting my kids on an individual basis of how they need to be parented, which I do think is the best way to do it. If tomorrow Krissa changes and acts like she's miss independent then I'll give her that! (She also seems interested in stuffed animals already; Logan only cared about them for a comfort item when he was two-and-a-half til a month or two after his third birthday.) I'm sure someday she won't want to be glued to my hip, but as of her time in the womb (i.e. I don't think she would have come out til after her due date if I hadn't gotten my membranes stripped or had the induction scheduled) -- right now she still does and so I'm enjoying these special moments.

Ever since my last post, Whew, when I said that she went to bed on her own for the first time the night before she turned five weeks -- she has continued to! She doesn't even fall asleep while nursing. (Logan did every time. . .that's part of what made breastfeeding so hard.) I can just lay her down awake and she'll go to sleep in her crib (she's already gained security since a month ago)! So that has helped make bedtime easy. I can put her down at 10 pm now and she'll fall asleep shortly thereafter. When she wakes up at 6 am, though, she wants her pacifier (she takes it 100% of the time we offer now) and so I am too tired to keep getting up and putting it back in her mouth every other minute (since she can't keep it in for the life of her; I don't remember Logan having such trouble so either he didn't, or he just didn't care when it fell out) and so that's how the co-sleeping for those last four hours started. (Well, generally it's not even 4 hours since Logan often wakes up at 8 or 9 am so that's when I get up.) Krissa nurses eight times a day these days: 6 am, 10 am, noon, 2 pm, 4 pm, 6 pm, 8 pm, and 10 pm. I like how she's given me a schedule pretty much since birth since Logan really never did has when it came comes to eating. It'll be interesting to see if that's a personality trait for life.

I still love watching Logan with her. It has become one of my favorite parts of being a parent. I am just fascinated by their connection, maybe it's because I didn't grow up with siblings. They act like kindred souls. I never expected her to smile and laugh at him so much already. He passes by and her eyes immediately fix on him and she coos! (Especially this past week, she is more interactive than ever! It's so fun! I think she's going to be just as smiley as Logan was as a baby [he smiled practically non-stop] -- she is just so cheerful. This past week her eyebrows and eyelashes also came in -- so adorable! And her eyes turned brown; here was a picture of her at five weeks when they were blue. Poor thing has had baby acne the past couple of weeks and her hair is falling out, though.) Logan asks to hold her almost every day. He loves going over to her when he sees her on a blanket or in the crib and "entertains" her. He also has his own nickname for her! He calls her "Feather." At first I didn't know where it came from; he's been saying it for weeks, "Hi little feather. You're my little feather" -- how cute is that?! Then Joe told me that one day she was touching him lightly and he said it felt like a little feather. Awe :-) (So I guess then that I have TWO feathers. . .thus the title of this post :-))

Before she was born I had thought I'd probably call her Krissy a lot, but instead have been saying "Krissa Anne." Logan has been picking up on this so it is really cute to hear him go over to her and say, "Hi Krissa Anne!" in an adoring tone.I last blogged on Fri, Aug 19. . .that day Logan and I stayed at my mom & stepdad's after he woke up from his nap, and Joe met us there after work, so we joined my parents for supper. Back at my dad's house that night at midnight, while everyone else slept, I addressed Krissa's announcements. On Saturday, August 20th we met my mom and stepdad for lunch at a sort-of-Mexican restaurant called Dos Rios. The reason I say "sort of" is that their menu isn't for if you're craving Mexican -- like, I had meatball tacos -- but it was good.

I went to the restroom to nurse Krissa for a few minutes (I remember nursing Logan in a stall a couple of times, too, yeah, so comfortable) and then we said goodbye to my parents and went to see our new house! I hadn't been to our lot since before the hole was dug! So I was very excited to see it! They were at the stage right before the drywall.That evening Joe put together the Sit N Stand stroller that his mom gave us for Christmas. I love it and Logan loves it = perfect combination for hopefully many walks to come with both kids! Joe took Logan and Krissa around my dad's lake and then Logan also rode his big wheel which we'd brought from our old house.

On Sunday, August 21, we went to Joe's mom's house for lunch and then to her friend's backyard pool. Logan had been there twice over the summer, but I hadn't been since Joe and I were dating! I can't fit into my suit yet so I just stayed in the shade with Krissa. After awhile, Jane (the owner of the house/pool) told me I could bring Krissa in the air conditioning so she watched her nap while I put my feet in the water. That's when Logan, who discovered how to back float and was showing me, had a scary moment. He was wearing a swim ring/inner tube that Jane had, and on his fourth or fifth time of standing on the step and then laying on his back in the water, he accidentally flipped face down in the water. Because of the swim ring around him, he couldn't turn back. He was kicking his legs and flailing his arms. Joe was at the other end of the pool and Sandi was close by, but couldn't get to him right away so that left me to save him (on the pavement right above him).

It was like a recurring nightmare that I've actually had ever since Logan was born -- where he's going under water and I can't get him out. It was really only a few seconds but it went in slow motion as I tried to lift him up but he was heavier than I had anticipated so it wasn't like I just scooped him out. But, I got him turned around so that he could breathe. Thank the Lord he had held his breath so there was no coughing or anything -- other than crying. It was hard for me not to start crying myself.

I can't wait for swim lessons. . .I blogged in the past that he was going to have them this past summer at our local pool, but after we found out we were moving I decided to delay them until this winter when we join our Y right by our new house. Because he didn't want to swim much more after that. I'm glad he got back in, though, for a few minutes at least. (This pic was taken prior to the scare.)After eating supper at Sandi's and hanging out for a bit longer, we headed back to my dad's house where this time I joined Joe, Logan, and Krissa on a walk as well as watched Logan ride his big wheel again.

Monday, August 22nd I took Logan over to my mom's for naptime since he'd skipped both Saturday and Sunday.

That evening Joe & I put Krissa in the bumbo chair for the first time (5 weeks-3 days) and she loved it! :-) Her head didn't bop around at all, she sat in it for quite awhile like it was nothing new! She stopped rolling over at five weeks, I assume because she's too heavy now (until she's 4 or 5 months old) but still likes to sleep on her side (and stomach which I allow just for naps during the day when I'm keeping a close eye on her).On Tuesday, August 23rd I went grocery shopping while Logan napped at my mom's and she watched Krissa. This was only Krissa's fourth bottle of her life and she didn't do as well as she had when my mom had fed Krissa's third bottle two weeks prior. Apparently Krissa cried for me the whole time I was gone (she still likes to know I'm near; she does great with all other people IF she knows I am somewhere around), so my mom had to call me while I was only halfway through Hy-Vee. I quickly went through the check out line and came home to find Krissa had worn herself out from crying and was sound asleep. :( So I put the stuff that needed to stay cold in my mom's fridge and freezer, and then went back to Hy-Vee to get the rest of the items on my list. I went through a different line but the girl was like, "Were you here before?" :p

I picked up Krissa and my earlier groceries from my mom, and then went to my dad's to put everything away. My mom and I decided that rather than me return to her house, she and my stepdad would just bring Logan back over to my dad's at 8 pm. (My dad had left for Michigan that morning.)

Those hours in the meantime allowed me to sit on the deck for the first time in my two-and-a-half weeks of staying at my dad's (this blog being the second time), while I wrote in Krissa and Logan's journals. I've wanted to work on my novel ever since my dad built his house on the lake the summer of 2000. I'm not sure if I'll get to during this next month or not, but I sure hope I do before he moves. . .he's planning to put the house up for sale this coming spring, and then move to Michigan with my stepmom. Even if it's just one day. . .that is my goal.

On Wednesday, August 24, I went to the movie theater with Brooke! That's right -- Brooke from Omaha! As I've mentioned on my blog before, her parents live in Des Moines, so we had "Mom's day out at the movies" just like we used to do in Omaha. We saw The Change-Up which was a bit more risque than we had expected. . .but did have some really funny moments and a good message.

My mom and I were both nervous since the day before hadn't gone very well with her watching Krissa, but thankfully this time did. (Even though Logan took less than an hour nap so she had both kids to watch, and Krissa wouldn't let her put her down.) It was the longest I'd been away from Krissa - 3.5 hrs (when I got my hair done when she was 3 weeks old we'd been apart for exactly 3 hrs).On Thursday, August 25 Brooke was still in town so we met her and Kaelyn at a park right next to a McDonalds so we had a picnic and watched the kids play (once again our same old playdate)! It was Krissa's first time at a park and I am still learning how to carry everything for two kids, etc. so it took forever to get set up. . .then Logan needed to use the bathroom. . .and then Krissa was ready to eat. The park was SUPER crowded that day. . .mothers and fathers, and so I self consciously looked at my wrap and asked Logan if he could stay put while I went to my car to nurse Krissa. I was so proud of him, he sat there like a big boy and ate his meal (with Brooke watching as well as myself from the car). But I was sitting in the car thinking "this sucks" -- I didn't want to make a habit of running off to my car to breastfeed Krissa. I had actually suggested we have lunch at a park for the very reason that I thought it would be a better setting for if the kids got rowdy and/or I had to nurse Krissa. . .but I'd assumed it would be more private.

After she was finished, I stepped out into the parking lot and she vomited all over! SIGH, I knew she was going to be hungry again in a few minutes. (At least she's down to 2 days a week for the projectile vomiting. Still spits up all day and chokes every feeding, though.)

Sure enough, not long after I'd returned to Logan sitting at the picnic table, Krissa made it clear she wanted to eat again. I had flashbacks of all of the times this past year that I noticed moms nursing their babies at the zoo, bounce-u, children's museum, pumpkin patch, Amazing Pizza Machine, etc. I hadn't ever noticed women nursing in public before I had Logan. Obviously they did, but I didn't notice and I think that contributed to why I never nursed Logan in public. Since then, I've seen how other women do it without batting an eye and that has made me more comfortable -- so, all year before I even had Krissa, I would go places and think "if I had to nurse my baby right now, where would I do it at?" This "imagery" worked -- I stayed totally relaxed as I pulled out my wrap again and nursed right there in front of the crowd! Yeay me :-)

I must not have offended anyone because after I was done I had several women at different times come up to me and start talking to me, gushing over Krissa, welcoming me to Iowa, etc.!

After the park, we went over to my mom's for Logan's nap and I took Krissa (around 3 pm) and went back to my dad's again since that had worked the other day (they brought Logan over at 8 pm again). . .I think I am getting spoiled. . .I'm not sure what I'll do for a break once we move into our new house. I had thought maybe I could get Logan enrolled in a new preschool in October, but I don't think we'll be able to start visiting preschools until then, so it'd probably be November before he could start and I don't really want him going right before the holidays and the sickest time of the year (bringing home virus' to Krissa). So I'm thinking of having him start late January instead. . .but that means three-and-a-half months at our new house with no break for me.

Logan has days of driving me crazy now. I'd heard that all moms say that about their kids but honestly Logan never had. Even on our bad days, or hard days, he never annoyed me, but now I swear he is doing so purposely. Three has definitely been the most challenging age, no question. He insists on picking out his own clothes now which I know is usually common with those a whole year younger so I had hoped maybe we had avoided that battle since he always makes it a fight.

I've changed my mind from my last post when I said it was ALL his age, though. I think he IS reacting to all of the changes from this summer. Because, I don't know where my calm, well mannered little boy went -- he's so hyper every day (and talks a mile a minute) and often talks so rudely. He also gets very angry for no apparent reason and sometimes says he doesn't like me. He talks like this to me in front of anyone and even acts like this with the grandparents now. Yesterday he was being mean to my mom (once again, he'd never previously shown that he had a mean bone in his body) and so I had a quality talk with him, trying to find out if he is acting out due to the stress in our lives. Of course a three year old can't express reasons WHY they are feeling angry so I couldn't get much out of him, but it did sound like maybe he IS reacting to this unstable summer. So I can't wait until these last three weeks are over!!! Because, the next minute he'll be the sweetest kid on the planet, saying "I'm so happy that you're my mother" and telling me 50 times a day how much he loves me and that we're "best friends." So we're not a lost cause yet, LOL. (On the bright side he hasn't had anymore constipation.)Anyway, Friday, August 26 I met Joe's mom at a gas station and handed off Logan and the dogs for a few hours until Joe could pick them up after work. The reason being, I had my 6 week check up in Omaha that day so I took Krissa and headed west. I had left with an extra hour-and-a-half to spare, but stopped along the way to go to the bathroom and nurse Krissa, so I only ended up having a half an hour before my appt. I stopped at our old house for another bathroom and nursing break, and then drove to Lakeside Hospital. The last time I'd been there was when I'd had Krissa!

When I got off the elevator to my doctor's floor I had just told them I was here (still a few minutes early) when they called me back! Total opposite of my last appt. when I'd sat in the waiting room after everyone else was gone! That seems like a million years ago now. Joe and I were looking at our August album on picasa and the beginning of this month seems like several months ago! I think we've had way more than a summer full of stuff going on this summer!

Dr. Sullivan said everything was perfect with me, she said, "better recovery than having a c-section, huh?" She'll always remember me by that :p I told her I'll still be coming to her for my yearly check up; since I'm done having kids hopefully there won't be any reason for me to need her for more than that.

I'm nervous to. . .you know. . .this time. I did last time when Logan was seven weeks old and it was SOOOO painful, thanks mostly to what I later learned was breastfeeding. We hardly did it at all until Logan was 4 months and then like a light switch it went from painful to completely normal. So maybe I'll just wait until November. . .j/k.

I lost another pound since my last post, so I have four more pounds to go til my pre-pregnancy weight. I thought I'd still have to lose another pound to wear my old jeans but was able to finally start wearing them again when Krissa was five-and-a-half weeks old. As of my six week check up, I can start a regular exercise program, but I know I won't until we move into our new house. So, I'm trying not to eat as much fast food now. . .I've been cooking stuff like Velveeta's Nacho Supreme Cheesy Skillet which isn't really cooking but better than what we had been eating.

She also weighed Krissa and at 6 weeks she was 11 lbs, 3/4 ounces. Logan was 11 lbs, 15 oz at the same point so I think she's going to be a chunk like he was! (The average 6 week old baby is 10 lbs.) It's so amazing to me because she hardly eats compared to him. He ate 12-14 times a day his entire first year. (It's no wonder I couldn't keep up with just breastfeeding.) As I wrote earlier, Krissa only eats 8 times at 6 weeks old -- how is she almost the same weight?!?! Feeding Logan was the only thing that stressed me out when I became a mother; with Krissa, feeding isn't even on the list -- it's like brushing my teeth. I don't think I'll have any trouble making my goal of doing it one year this time (my goal with Logan was 9 months which I succeeded but I wanted to do it a full year with baby #2).

After my appt. I went back to my old house and picked up my mail from my neighbor Jenn who had been holding it for me. We chatted for awhile (she and my friend Lisa P have been talking at the Y the past few months because their girls play together in the daycare there, totally unaware that they had me in common or that THEY were the Jenn and Lisa from my blog! Small world) and then I went to Target to get my friend Andrea's son a birthday gift, as we were going to his party the next day.

While I was gone, Joe, Logan, and the dogs arrived. Joe's old co worker who was due to have their baby the same day as me came over to see our house since they want to start looking (but won't be ready to buy until the spring). It would have been a dream come true had he decided to buy it! We've only had two showings during these almost three weeks, so we are thinking about lowering the price.Buy This House
We didn't get our windows washed AND one of our windows cracked, so we will be coming back before the day we move our stuff out after all, to replace the window. Joe had planned on mowing the lawn Friday night but it was already mowed! At first we thought maybe one of our neighbors had done it but then we learned that it was mowed by a guy who our realtor has for situations like ours. Joe had just asked the day before for a price quote before deciding whether to hire him, so we were kind of annoyed that he'd mowed it without getting the green light. But apparently he doesn't speak much English and misunderstood. Since he only charges $30 we decided to go ahead with him.

On Saturday, August 27 I went to my massage therapist's for my first massage since having Krissa! Afterward, I only had time to nurse Krissa before it was off to Drew's 4th birthday party. It was kind of a coincidence, I had said to Joe earlier in the summer that there were just two things I had wanted to see before moving and that was the Air Show and Durham Museum. Well the Air Show was going on that weekend (although we still didn't get to see it so we plan to come back next year) but we did get to see the Durham Museum because that's where the party was at! Logan had fun, and Andrea & her husband Randy enjoyed meeting Krissa.

While we were there, we'd taken our dogs to their old groomer's so we picked them up and then headed back to Iowa. Krissa cried for the first time on one of our Omaha drives so I had to pull over four times :( She's starting to not like the car as much as Logan did (he was a sound sleeper every time in the car for his first 7 months). Since she doesn't even cry when she's hungry now (just starts giving me the gestures) nor when she's put down (now that she takes the pacifier), the car has been the only place I've heard that sound lately. I've had to pull over twice just driving to my mom's house, too, because she gets to crying so extreme that she can't breathe and turns bright red and covered in sweat. Thankfully as soon as I hold her to me, her choking sobs cease and she falls asleep so I can put her back in the carseat without tears. (She is much easier awakened everywhere compared to Logan. Maybe it's because life is simply louder this time, but he slept through EVERYTHING at this age, whereas his voice will wake her up as well as other sounds or if I move her, etc. Maybe that's why she sleeps so much better at night -- because it's quiet and still, whereas Logan slept more during the day because it was just as quiet and still.)We stopped at our house on the way and was happy with the progress of just one week -- the siding was all on and the drywall had been started. Our only complaint is that the sump pump is super close (and big) to the back of our house -- right where our patio is supposed to end which is really unattractive. So I asked if they can move it and am waiting to hear back.

On Sunday, August 28 we went over to Joe's mom's again because his sister was visiting from San Francisco so she got to meet Krissa. We ate lunch and then went to a recreation area where Logan has fed ducks in the past (he asked to go), but unfortunately we didn't find any that day.

When we returned to the house we had cake & ice cream as a celebration with Joe's sister for his birthday in July and Sandi's birthday on September 11th. They also opened presents (Logan got one, too -- an airplane, which he enjoyed). Then, it was time to head back to my dad's since he was still in Michigan and my dogs were by themselves. (The dogs have, overall, been good except for Bella having a couple of accidents and so since then they've been staying in the storage area of my dad's basement.)

Monday, August 29 I was supposed to start back "at work" (my online freelance writing) but I still don't have regular internet access, so as if having two kids and living at someone else's house doesn't make it hard enough to get online, I sent "my boss" an email to apologize for not being able to return after all. Thankfully he seems like a super nice guy -- he told me that family is the most important thing and so enjoy the time with my family and whenever I have free time again just email him and he'll send me work. Whew, I was worried that if I didn't return after my two months off then I'd lose "my job."

Meanwhile, Logan went to my mom and stepdad's for his nap (which he'd skipped on Sat & Sun) and then they brought him to my dad's at 8 pm again.

Tuesday, August 30th it rained all day. My parents went to St Louis so I decided not to take Logan to their house for his nap, hoping that maybe since it was so dark AND Krissa was sleeping soundly AND I laid down, too, that MAYBE Logan would nap at my dad's. But after an hour I realized that was a mistake. . .we gave up. So we just hung out at my dad's; he returned from his week in Michigan that evening.

Wednesday, August 31st was hot so I planned to take Logan to McDonald's PlayPlace since he's only played on their indoor playground briefly a couple of times in his life (never gone for that specific purpose). But after finally getting there (because the street and parking lot were sooooo crowded), I noticed the sign on the door said kids must wear socks. . .I had put sandals on Logan without even thinking about it. So, we turned around and left.

I decided to stop at Hy-Vee instead and grab some things for a picnic to have at a park. We went to the one that I used to go to as a kid (that looks NOTHING like it did) and had a nice lunch under a shady tree. But once we got up from the table, the heat got to us so Logan didn't play more than 5 minutes and I had to nurse Krissa, so we went back to the air conditioned car. Logan had to pee so I drove to my mom's house even though she wasn't there (they returned from St. Louis that evening) and Logan (and Krissa) took a two-and-a-half hour nap. From there we went to the Super Wal-Mart (changing it up from a Hy-Vee, LOL) -- I was relieved that my second trip to the store with both kids went better than the first two weeks ago. Then, we put together Logan's old playgym for Krissa! So far she doesn't seem that interested yet, but Logan was 9 or 10 weeks when we put him under it (he loved it right away).Thursday, September 1st our friends Joe & Jeannie (a.k.a. Grife, Joe's high school friend) had their baby boy! She was due on August 29th but after her 40 week check up on August 30th her doctor scheduled an induction for 4:30 pm August 31st. Cooper Donald was born at 10:20 am on September 1st, weighing 6 lbs, 10 oz and is 21 inches long.

Not much else to report, all Logan, Krissa, and I did was go to my mom's for Logan's nap and then all returned to my dad's house for supper.

Today is Friday, September 2nd and Joe's niece (the one who didn't get married last month) is visiting Joe's mom so we're getting together with her this evening, then my maternal grandmother is coming to meet Krissa on Sat & Sun, and then Monday I am seeing the first of many old friends who live in the Des Moines area! It has been fun reconnecting with a lot of them via email who I haven't talked to in a few years. . .back before I was a mother of two! (This picture is of my hand, Logan's hand, and Joe's hand.)To conclude this post. . .Logan has been getting philosophical lately. Back in May you might remember me writing about how Logan didn't understand when I tried to explain about my grandmother dying. Well the other day we were in the car and out of the blue he said, "Why did GiGi have to die?" So I explained again about how she was old and she'd finished her life so it was time for her to go to heaven and be with the angels. He asked if he was going to die. . .I told him not for a long, long, long time. He then said he didn't want me or anyone else to die :( He seems to suddenly "get it."

Speaking of death, a month ago (at our old house) he started talking about his third grandpa. At first I wasn't really paying attention but then he started saying things like, "My grandpa is really nice. I love my grandpa." It suddenly occurred to me that he would have three grandpas if Joe's dad was alive. So I asked him what his grandpa looked like and he said, "He has a beard." Well I dismissed that thought because when I met Jim (Joe's dad) he didn't have a beard. But later on I told Joe about this conversation and he reminded me that Jim did have a beard during the 80's and every winter before & after that.

So then we both asked Logan again what his grandpa looked like and he said, "Like Daddy."

!!!!

We were thinking Sandi must have talked about Jim to Logan recently or showed him pictures so we were going to ask but then the whole move happened and I didn't hear Logan say anything more until I was mailing out announcements and I said I had a couple left, "who should I send these last two to?" Logan said, "Jim Rodgers!"

I about fainted. Jim Rodgers? How the heck did Logan say his full name? (He doesn't even say his own last name is Rodgers when we ask him, nor have I heard him say the full name of anyone else.)

I said, "Who?"

Logan said, "My third grandpa."

Then he started going into this whole long thing about how Jim finished his life like GiGi and died and went to heaven. My dad was nearby and so I was like, "Are you hearing this?" My dad was pretty surprised, too! Joe and I later asked Sandi if she's been talking about Jim to Logan and she said no, she hasn't at all. Hmm. . .On another note. . .I do not like the show Phineas & Ferb and it is Logan's new favorite show! :( All of these years I have either liked or been neutral towards all cartoons that he watches. Most moms have one they don't like, but I never have -- until now. I don't think this show was even on in Omaha, but it's on ALL DAY at my dad's house. I hope we don't have the same channels at our new house :p

Here are the posts that I wrote at this point with Logan: Breastfeeding Rollercoaster (I had thought at this point that breastfeeding was getting easier with Logan, but I was wrong) and 8 Weeks Old!